It's important to know which battles to fight. Recently, I have discovered that I have been unknowingly fighting the silliest battle of them all. I've been fighting God.
To be real, it can be tough when you DO have that ridiculous amount of faith in God. When you KNOW he can change a circumstance in your life or situation. And then when the situation falls off a cliff into the unknown abyss of darkness.... where is your faith left to go? I've been fighting for SO long. Too long. Questioning God as if having faith doesn't mean through EVERY season and circumstance. And yes, to my prides surprise, even the things that do not go my way. It amazes me how we can manage to stay in the dark for so long when the truth just so easily shows itself like a slap in the face like an "omg.... DUH moment".
I find it absolutely insane that Satan can SERIOUSLY mess with our minds if we do not keep spiritually fed!
I will admit, I tend to feel completely ridiculously just staying home and having some a lone time with God. Instead I am anxious and just ready to go out and find something new to adventure into and to meet new people and experience new things. I always find myself in this lacking routine. I end up feeling completely empty and exhausted and confused as to how in the world it ever happened.
Life can happen to the best of us. We just have to remembered to KEEP in the word. KEEP in fellowship. BE CAREFUL of who and what we spend our time and thinking on.
I was watching a video on youtube, "Lauryn Hill Speech", so very powerful. If you have not seen it, look it up. It's so to the point. It's so REAL. She mentioned a "Matrix" reference about how at the end of the film Neo was able to decode everything, it all started to make sense, the pieces fit. He knew an agent before the agent even showed himself. She said, "that how I want to be spiritually." So simple. and powerful. To work to be THAT spiritually prepared at all times to the point where the answers end up SO simple!
FOR MONTHS I have been struggling with something very personal and very dear to my heart.
Right at this moment, for the first time in months, It all makes perfect sense.
This came after I decided to spend almost my entire weekend at HOME. Studying. Researching. Gods words flowing through me.
My struggle has lasted years. I've taken this baggage with me everyday. Some days easier than others.
But in all of my struggles I have learned something so very valuable.
STAY IN THE WORD OF GOD. DO NOT LET YOURSELF BE LED ASTRAY.
AND BE CAREFUL because we battle not against flesh and blood.
If we are not spiritually prepared for battle we let the enemy win these victories over us.
We are not at the mercy of any else's choices; or even our own. We are in God's hands.
I plan to look confidently ahead to what He will do on my behalf.
